10 Ways to Become a Terrible Listener

Does everyone come to you for advice? People enjoy sharing their stories with you, and think you’re a great person to be around. Tired of being everyone’s friend? Here are ten sure-fire ways to tick everyone off and make yourself a terrible listener.

  1. Don’t make eye contact. When people are trying to have a conversation with you, make sure you pick up your phone and play Candy Crush while you’re “listening.” After all, you’ve been trying to beat that level for days!
  2. Look at your watch and sigh deeply. We all know your time is greater than anyone else’s.
  3. Interrupt!! When they’re mid-conversation, stop them and finish their sentences for them. You already know where this is going, so no need for them to continue talking.
  4. Zone out. Daydream about a wonderful vacation that you’d like to take. Hmm…Hawaii maybe?
  5. Multi-task. Read emails, answer texts, turn on your music, or finish up a project that just can’t wait.
  6. ALWAYS offer advice. Especially when you know it’ll tick them off because they haven’t asked for it.
  7. Hurry them out of your office. Make sure to walk away as someone is talking to you. Only so many hours in the day…you have things to do!
  8. Only listen to the parts that directly affect you. If the conversation or problem has nothing to do with you, there’s no need for you to listen anyway.
  9. Nod repeatedly and say “Uh huh!” Do this the whole time someone is talking to you. This will make it appear you are listening, even though we all know you really aren’t.
  10. Fall asleep. Nothing will tick them off more than a little mid-conversation snoring!

Follow our 10-step program, and people will hate talking with you so much, that maybe they’ll just quick talking to you altogether.