10 Ways to Disengage Employees

As we’re rounding out the year, you’re probably going down your list of “to-dos,” making sure you hit all your benchmarks. This one is probably on everyone’s list: DISENGAGE MY EMPLOYEES. We can’t have anyone loving their work! And just in case you haven’t accomplished this one yet, we thought we’d provide you with a few tips.

  1. Stop providing feedback. Right now. Don’t speak to employees. Don’t give feedback. Not even a pat on the back. Your employees should consider themselves lucky if they get an annual review.
  2. Do not, under any circumstances, leave your office. Stay in there! Don’t walk the work area or office, don’t check in, and don’t strike up useless conversations. In fact, you should probably put a sign on your door that says “DO NOT ENTER.”
  3. Stop asking questions. Why do you want their opinions anyway? They aren’t being paid to problem-solve with you. So knock it off. You know best. Remember that.
  4. Threaten to take their paycheck. After all, that’s the only real way to motivate people. So let them be afraid. Very afraid.
  5. Do not acknowledge good work. Make sure each and every employee feels like they aren’t being acknowledged. An underappreciated employee does the best work, right?
  6. Stop having fun. You need to make sure no one is happy at work. No one. They are here to get a job done, and that doesn’t involve enjoying it.
  7. Promote the wrong people. Do you have employees with terrible people skills? Employees that show up late or not at all? Employees who create drama or hate other people? That is exactly who you need supervising others. Get those people a raise already!
  8. Make sure no one has a purpose. Sure, you can give employees goals. But make sure they don’t know the purpose of the goal or why it’s important. Better yet, they don’t even need to know why they come to work or how they contribute to success. Period.
  9. Stop providing direction. Especially if it’s a new project, or if you’re assigned to train someone. Write a short sentence on a post it note. All you need is three words: “Do this task.” Remember, you can’t speak to them (see tip #1).
  10. Believe in incompetence. You need to have a strong belief that everyone…and I mean EVERYONE…is complete incompetent. When you start trusting people, that’s when you start slipping up.

It’s hard to be this good at disengaging employees. We know. But it is possible. One step at a time. You can do this! We believe in you…or do we?

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