Hey guys, its Jessica with Revela. Today, I want to talk about differing personality styles. At Revela, we offer multiple personality assessments, but for the purpose of the video, I will just use Introverts versus Extroverts.
I was having a conversation the other day with one of our facilitators about the two different styles, and how sometimes communication can be extremely difficult because internally, we make assumptions about other people. And when you sit back and think about it, sometimes it can be really comical when you hear the other person’s side of the story.
Introverted people process information internally. They don’t see a need to speak unless they’re providing information, which can sometimes come off as them seeming quiet or uninterested. They don’t mind being alone, and can find it tiresome to be around people for long periods of time.
Extroverted people, on the other hand, process information externally. They actually gain energy from being around and conversing with other people. During a conversation, extroverts can sometimes over communicate, and may even speak just to break an awkward silence.
To give you an example of how the two might typically communicate, I’m going to play out out a simple conversation between my husband Dale (extrovert) and myself (introvert).
Dale: Hey honey, Justin told me HyVee has milk on sale right now for $1.99.
Me: (And I’ll add that to the grocery list…)
Dale: HELLLOOOOOOO. Did you hear me? Do you know how much milk we go through?
Me: (Oh, did I not answer him??) Yea, I heard you.
Dale: Are you mad at me? I don’t understand why you’re being short with me. Do you want me to go get the milk?
Me: (Jeesh, why is he being so dramatic??) No, babe, I’m not mad at all. I’ll get the milk.
Dale: I don’t know why that had to be so difficult…I was just trying to save us some money.
Me: (Please, Just stop talking…I already solved this problem two minutes ago….)
Many times, just because introverts don’t respond, doesn’t mean that were ignoring you. It doesn’t mean they’re mad. They just processed the information, came up with a solution on their own, and didn’t see a need to further the conversation.
And just because extroverts ask questions or may want an answer from you, it doesn’t mean that they are being dramatic or overbearing. They actually prefer a two way conversation and enjoy problem solving with other people.
My example was a dramatization of a simple conversation, but you’d be surprised how often thoughts like these occur in everyday conversations between co-workers, peers, friends, spouses, and maybe even between you and your children.
So what’s the take-away here? Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, sometimes you have to adjust your communication style in order to be effective while communicating. For example, if you give introverts a little bit of extra time to process information (without breaking the silence), you may actually receive a response. Or if you give an extrovert an answer with a little additional information, they’ll be happy that you acknowledged what they told you. Every person is different. If you figure out how the person prefers to communicate, sometimes making a simple adjustment can make all the difference.
Do you have trouble communicating with styles other than your own? What are you going to do?