Stop Proving Yourself

Video Transcript:

Hi, it’s Andrea with Revela. Have you realized that ever since you were very young, you’ve been conditioned to prove yourself? We start off very early in our lives by being able to prove that we can say, “Mama,” or “Daddy.” And it just continues. We prove to ourselves that we can get good grades, we prove that we can get on the band, or that we can get on the ball team. We prove that we can get into college or some school, and that we can get good grades. We have years, if not decades, of proving our knowledge and our skills to others.

But what if I told you it was time to change that? As a manager or leader, it is not about you anymore. It’s about those that you lead. And it’s about your team. It’s about finding ways to give them the opportunity to demonstrate what they know, their skills, and the things that they’re learning.

So I’ve got a couple of tips for you that might help you in this journey of changing how you think about proving yourself and allowing others to prove themselves.

The first tip that I have is: When you’re sitting in a meeting, and a question is asked about an opinion or how to solve a problem, I want you to stop. Stop and allow the others in the room to voice their opinions. Let them answer the question. Let them demonstrate how much they know. Let them demonstrate and prove that they have the skills and the knowledge to help solve the problem. And if people aren’t quite ready to respond, you may have to call on them to get them to reply. But again, it’s not about your answers. It’s about allowing them to prove what they know and to demonstrate their skills and knowledge.

The second tip that I have is: Start tracking how much you say “I,” or “my.” You’d be surprised at how often those two words come out of the mouths of leaders as they’re demonstrating that they know how to take care of things. So instead of saying, “When I finish the project,” maybe you should say, “When we finish the project.” Or instead of saying, “This is how I do things,” you say, “This is how we do things.”

There are a lot of other methods that will help you give others the opportunity to prove what knowledge they have, but let’s just get started with these two. And I know you’ll find more opportunities to give others the opportunity what they know, the skills and knowledge that they have, and what they’re learning.

Are you ready to get started?

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