Today, I have one quick question for you to consider. And this video won’t take very long. Do you love problems more than solutions? This questions applies to unresolved conflicts or frustrations that you have in your workplace or in your life. When we focus more on what someone has or hasn’t done in the past, or can easily rattle off a long list of ways that you have been treated unfairly by another person or department, you may actually love the problem more than the solution.
We become so caught up in the problem that it prevents us from ever finding a solution. In fact we start to wear the problem and the difficulty that it causes us, like a badge of honor that we can toss out on the table whenever we need others to acknowledge that our life or our struggles are more difficult than everyone else’s. If you have unresolved issues that fall into this category I challenge you to start to love the solution more than the problem. Identify what actions you can take that would make the situation better. That means you might have to go have a conversation with someone. Or focus on changing your mindset about the situation or person that would help improve the tension between you and that other individual.
Also, stop and examine the thoughts that you have about the situation and challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself questions like: “What assumptions am I making?”, “Could there be another side of this story that I haven’t considered?”, and “Is it possible that I might actually be wrong?” or “Maybe I have made a bigger deal about this than is warranted.”
Last, ask yourself what haven’t you tried yet that could potentially improve the situation. In the end you may find that it requires you to let go of something because it really isn’t worth the fuss. We all only have so much energy to expend every day. Where are you going to spend your energy? Focused on the problem or the solution? What are you going to do?
For more on solving problems with others, click here!