Avoid These Leadership Mistakes

This is a written Transcription for the Leadership Hustle episode about Avoide These Leadership Mistakes, from Season 1 Episode 31.

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Avoid These Leadership Mistakes

Andrea Frederickson: So I'm sure that this does not apply to you. But are you aware that there are some behaviors that leaders should completely stop doing? On this episode of The Leadership Hustle, we're going to have a little bit of fun talking about those leadership behaviors that leaders should absolutely stop doing. Hello, and welcome to the Leadership Hustle. For executives whose companies are growing fast and need leaders who are ready. Hi, it's Andrea Fredrickson with Revela. And Michelle Hill is here with me. And I was glad I could get through saying Hill and here together. Yes, yes. And that opening. So today we're going to change things up a little bit. Um, almost all of our episodes are related to, um, qualities and characteristics and behaviors that leaders should do in order to be more effective. Yes. Well, we thought we'd flip it around today and talk about the things that leaders need to stop doing, because there are a lot of things. And in fact, there's some things that want are very outdated, but we still find that our leaders are doing, um, surprisingly enough. But the other part of that is I don't think that leaders recognize that they're even doing it.

Michelle Hill: Correct? Yes. Most likely when they're hearing it, they're like, that's not me. That's I don't do that. That's not me.

Andrea Frederickson: And so, you know, the fact that we have people, I mean, we all know that we all have blind spots. We know that. Right? But as a leader, people's eyes are on you all the time. They're watching you and they are judging the impact of what you do or don't do has on them as either a peer, but most more importantly is on those who that they lead. And so we just we worked on a list of things, and we'll invite you to think of those things that we haven't mentioned, because there's a lot that we haven't we won't mention today. And if you think of others, jot those in the show notes. I think that it would be fun to see what other people are thinking that that need to be, um, some of the behaviors that need to be stopped. So I'm going to let you start. Michelle, what is one thing you know, leaders need to stop doing?

Michelle Hill: Commanding.

Andrea Frederickson: Commanding. Tell me more about that.

Michelle Hill: Just being more of the coming out, telling people what to do and walking off. No real why or involving them in solutions. I mean, obviously leaders have to make decisions. Sure. Um, but it's the decisions made. So how we're going to go about doing it can oftentimes be something that other individuals are a part of. Right. But that just that just do this, do that, do this. That's all we do is directing. Just. Yeah. Yeah. You're commanding is very much like direct like directing traffic after the Super Bowl or something. You know, it's just pointing people in the direction. Right?

Andrea Frederickson: Right. You know, we talk about that kind of behavior, which is actually more management and not leadership. So um, when we when we talk about leaders, um, leaders can be by position, which is a noun or leadership, which is a verb. And we want people to lead. In this case, they're doing more managing, which is managing the resource, the time, the information, the the expectations, things like that. And so that's, that's that's really good. All right. So um, my stop doing was going to be a failure to, um, be flexible or adapt or change it kind of they all kind of go together, but they're all a little bit separate. So, um, so what.

Michelle Hill: Would they stop.

Andrea Frederickson: Doing there that they have that they are too rigid? Stop being rigid. There we go. Thank you. Okay.

Michelle Hill: Because you went with the opposite I did, I.

Andrea Frederickson: Did, I just we just talked about it. I'm like, uh, stop being so rigid. So, you know, time people need to start work or do they need to have flexibility to adjust for a family situation but can still get the work done or. No, this is the way we do it here versus the way we've always done it here versus is there another way that we could do this that is bigger, better, stronger, faster? Yes. Um, and so I think, you know, they need people and leadership need to stop being so rigid because they think they can control everything. And I think that's an illusion.

Michelle Hill: Yes. Oh, definitely. Right. Definite illusion for sure.

Andrea Frederickson: Okay. For sure. How about another one?

Michelle Hill: Oh, goodness. Um, let's say um, well, I don't know if this is if this is a result of something different, but it's the stop the we have a culture of an open door policy. So, you know, it's people are going to interpret this open door policy all differently. Right. And is that really the best use of everyone's time? Because there's a fear that if our culture is it's an open door policy. So your door if you have a door physically has to be open, then people won't ever be able to really prioritize those high, those things that take a lot of focus and. Protect their time and protect, you know, the time that they're working on things that really matter. Um, and where it just becomes a free for all for that, that manager. I think we set our people up for failure when we have to have this open door policy.

Andrea Frederickson: And that's anything from the door to a team's discussion or a chat or I mean, just 24 hours, seven days a week. Accessibility. Yes. Is is is the issue, right? Yes. Right. Okay. So my next one is leaders need to stop believing that soft skills are not as important or not important compared to the technical work that they do. Yes. So, you know, thinking about the soft skills. So soft skills are those things that um communication style, empathy, relatedness, building trust, uh, making sure that teams work well together, make sure people have all the information that they need. People stuff. It's a people stuff. And I can't tell you the number of times we get people who show up, either in group coaching events or courses where they're just like all this soft skill people stuff. I would just love my job if I didn't have to deal with, if I had to deal with people. Yes. And I was like, okay, wrong job. Yeah.

Michelle Hill: Wrong job. Yeah. Or if you're just.

Andrea Frederickson: Having fun with this or is there some part of that that's actually true? Yeah.

Michelle Hill: Yes, yes. I just want to close my door and have no one bother me. That's okay.

Andrea Frederickson: That's not leading. That is hiding behind a door or, you know, hiding wherever it may be and just doing technical work. And that's not the part that we're asking people to do. So the soft skills, um. Actually, the higher you go in the organization, the soft skills are more the technical. Yeah, than what we used to call the technical responsibilities of creating reports or having specific knowledge based on the role that you're in. Now, granted, there are a few leadership roles that also require very specific technical ability and technical knowledge, but those are, you know, we need to be spending less time on the on the former technical and make soft skills, the technical and the and the role of leadership.

Michelle Hill: Yes, yes.

Andrea Frederickson: So.

Michelle Hill: Um, I'm going to say stop being right or stop proving having to prove your right.

Andrea Frederickson: Oh my gosh, this is so fun. Talk to me. So tell me more about this.

Michelle Hill: Well it's the if if you are always right then people don't feel safe to speak up. If, if if you're having to prove your right then it's always a battle and combative and um, that whole soft skills or psychological safety, it just goes right out the door. Um, if you're always right, that means you're not open to other perspectives. You're not open to other ways of doing things which people feel that they pick up on that pretty quick. When you become very stubborn, um, you've got to be right, you know, individual that that causes people to not feel you're approachable as well.

Andrea Frederickson: So if I added not only being right, but having to have the answer kind of goes, yeah, yeah. And they're not the same, but they kind of go hand in hand.

Michelle Hill: Yeah. Because there's, there's a fear that I don't have the answer. Just like there's a fear I'm going to be wrong, um, is going to come into place as well versus kind of goes back to being vulnerable. But being able to I don't know. That's a good question. You know, or, you know, being comfortable with letting people know that you don't know all the answers. People struggle with that all you know, often. And sometimes they may be right to a certain degree, but could it be better? But if we don't let people contribute and bring their ideas and feel safe to have that conversation, we're only going to be as good as your idea. We're not going to be any better in the future, right?

Andrea Frederickson: People need to give have the opportunity to come up with the answer and answer the best answer they can at that moment, maybe with some facilitated conversation. But the idea is we may know the answer, but it's not about us anymore. It's about them knowing what the answer is. The person that we're working with, the person, the person that we're leading. Definitely. Okay, so, um, this is just a flat out stop being a narcissist, right. Uh, and we do know that people get promoted into leadership roles who are narcissists. And I would venture to say that most don't know that they are narcissists. Correct? They say things like, well, I was just waiting for you to come up with the answer so that, um, I could tell you that you're right, because I already knew the answer. I was just waiting. I'm like, that is so unnecessary, right? Or, um, I knew the answer all along and. But took you so long. What took you so long? Um. Or. I already made the best decision. I'm like, okay, maybe you made the best decision with the information you had at this moment, but did you make the best decision? Because there's always better decisions? Yes. Right. Yes. And so the impact that that has on not only coworkers but the people that they lead is nothing's ever going to be right. There's a lack of trust.

Michelle Hill: Nothing's good enough.

Andrea Frederickson: Nothing's good.

Michelle Hill: People's confidence go down when you've got a group of people that are yes people, all they do is say yes to whatever it is you say is the idea, and they don't speak up. Right. There's a lack of psychological safety and they, over time, have started to believe themselves, possibly that maybe they're not smart enough or good enough or their ideas are not, you know, helpful. And that sometimes can stem from conditioning, right?

Andrea Frederickson: Really smart people know how to be humble, and they know how to be respectful and make sure that they're not coming across with this, you know, this hubris, this huge ego that is just unhealthy. So yes. All right. Yes. You got another one.

Michelle Hill: Oh goodness gracious. Um, I'm going to say, well, stop micromanaging or when I and so when I'm referring to micromanaging, I'm also referring to, um, where people work. So, you know, obviously, since since Covid, there's been a lot of dynamics of people all moved to their personal workspaces to get work done, and managers really struggled because they couldn't see things, they couldn't see them working and so forth. Are they, you know, and so that whole concept of micromanaging the people, not just the process or not the results, right? It's it's believing and trusting your people. Now I'm going down the wrong direction here, but sure. Um, it's it's the you know, as we've kind of come out of Covid, a lot of businesses have gone back. And part of the reason is managers really struggled with that. My people are not in front of me. And there's that bit of that micromanaging and it's again, it goes back to got to be my way. Um, those certain things that that that person believes is important, not giving the other person a voice or how to do something right.

Andrea Frederickson: Freedom. The people aren't listening. They're not asking for other people's opinions or not listening to what people are saying. They're discrediting people's knowledge. They're getting involved in things that they ought not to get involved with. I mean, yes, micromanaging is a ginormous topic. It is. People need to stop micromanaging. Um, I think that that what goes along with that is people need leaders need to stop. Discrediting people's well-being. So there's a well-being aspect to all of us. Some of us have lots of stress in our lives. There are things going on at home, um, that when we make changes, a lot of changes in the workplace, which there are lots of, there are people who are being, um, riffed and companies who are downsizing. And so there's a lot of scariness that's going on in, in our society. And I think that to some degree leaders are saying, oh, it's not affecting me. So why would it affect those that we lead? Or, um, you know, we're hearing more people who have difficulty with their anxiety. And I hear leaders just blow it off, like, tough it up. Yeah. And and yeah, tough.

Michelle Hill: It up is like the same advice says go faster. Well I would go faster if I could. I would toughen up if I could. I don't freaking know how. Right. And there's something there. Right.

Andrea Frederickson: Yeah. So the leaders need to stop ignoring it, stop discrediting it, stop talking negatively about, um, well-being because it's a it's real. And unless they've gone through it themselves, you know, they don't really recognize the impact that that. Disbelief of it is having on again not only their coworkers, but those that they lead and may even have an impact on their family.

Michelle Hill: Oh yeah. Definitely. It definitely can.

Andrea Frederickson: All right, let's see. One more for you. One more for you. Me? Got an.

Michelle Hill: Idea? Um. Oh, we could go different directions here. I'm going to say, because this does go opposite of soft skills. I'm going to say, um. Organizations need to stop letting people go via email.

Andrea Frederickson: Oh my gosh, tell us a story.

Michelle Hill: Won't go too far into this story. But yes, when an individual believes things are going very well and great reviews and so forth, and all of a sudden they get an email that their position has been discontinued and their they can't get answers either. So it's it's like that's like being ghosted, actually. It's like no one knows what exactly happened. It's so impersonal. You know, it's not personable at all. And it's very disrespectful. Um, I mean, it's not transactional.

Andrea Frederickson: It's not oh.

Michelle Hill: It's so transactional. No, no humidity whatsoever. And it's like, what type of environment or culture are you trying to create? Because people now know that people have been let go via email. And um, now you got fear. I mean, so now it's not just the people, I guess. Thank God for the people that did get laid off that way, but or let go that way. But the people that are there that know about it, I'd be I could just have an email one day show up and everything seems to be going great, and all of a sudden I'm on the wrong side of the spreadsheet and I get an email and no conversation. Know what happened? That's it.

Andrea Frederickson: Yeah, I thought that was long gone, but apparently apparently not. Not because we've just witnessed some things that have happened recently. Yes.

Michelle Hill: Apparently not.

Andrea Frederickson: Uh, thank goodness. Not by clients that we're working with. So that's.

Michelle Hill: Yes, that's very true. All right.

Andrea Frederickson: So my last one is stop withholding information. Yes. So you know, I know again, you know, one of the things that I don't know that I've ever shared with, with my team, but one of the things that I have a promise to my team with is I promise that I will share as much information as I can about our company, how well we're doing what what's what's not going well. If there's a client that's unhappy or we need to do something, um, things that are coming up because without that information, one, it's scary, right? Two, people can't make good decisions if they don't have the information. And if if people are withholding information, there's a lack of transparency, authenticity that comes along with that. And what we're doing is we're losing trust and credibility, not only as a leader, but it's affecting the reputation of our company because we're not we're not sharing those things. Now, I understand that there are some things you just can't share, right? Or there's a timing issue. Yes. I was just talking to someone yesterday that they're making some changes. They're letting you know they're rearranging things, they're looking at things are about ready, but we need to double check, make sure it works with the budget so we can do that because everybody was starting to hear rumors and things like that.

Andrea Frederickson: So we have to address the reality is that stuff is happening. Yes. Right. But we can't do this until we have all the facts, we have all the decisions or many of the decisions made so that we can do it, but we're being as transparent as we can without saying, oh, but if we change it, we're going to change it tomorrow anyway. Or we might change it because the decision we have new information to make the decision. And so I really think that, again, we don't need to share everything behind the curtain. Right. But we do need to recognize that, um, we are working with adults. Correct? Right. And that we need to stop treating people as though they're not adults and give them the information that will help them make really good decisions. Yes. Now, I know that there are so many other things that if we took a poll out there, it's like, oh, I wish my leader would have stopped doing this. Or one of the things I learned from a really bad leader is to stop doing this, that or the other thing.

Michelle Hill: Well, that's an important thing to reflect on. When you have that manager leader in your environment that you really struggle with, uh, certain things you can't control. But what can I learn, at least from it, to make sure that I'm not doing what they've done right?

Andrea Frederickson: Do as I say, not as I do. Or our parents say, oh, I'll never do that when my parents do it now it comes out of my mouth. It's like all those things. So thanks for joining us on this, uh, different episode of The Leadership Hustle. If you have ideas of things that other people in leadership should stop doing, please put those in the show notes and don't forget to subscribe so you never miss another episode.