How much is lack of trust costing you?

This is a written Transcription for the Leadership Hustle episode about How Much Is Lack of Trust Costing You?, from Season 1 Episode 14.

Listen to the full episode below, or click here to listen on your podcast platform of choice.

Andrea Frederickson: How much is a lack of trust costing your company? There are statistics out there ranging from two and one half hours a week to two and one half hours a day where the employees, all employees are dealing with some type of lack of trust between their coworkers, between departments, between leadership or some other aspect of the business. In today's episode, we're going to talk about how much a lack of trust is costing your company, and we'll give you a three point model that we use when we're working through different aspects of leading and developing trust. Hello and welcome to the Leadership Hustle for executives whose companies are growing fast and need leaders who are ready. Hey, Michele.

Michelle Hill: Hello, Andrea.

Andrea Frederickson: How are you this morning? This is afternoon? Yes, it's a Friday afternoon. And who who does this on a Friday afternoon? But good question. We decided that this is the day we're going to do this. So, you know, this trust thing is it's a big topic, so.

Michelle Hill: Well, not only is it a big topic, I was thinking about this on my drive over. What organization do we work with that we are not having to talk about trust. You know, kind of evaluate. Help them identify what is that environment feel like and what do they need to be doing to build it?

Andrea Frederickson: Because it's literally the foundation.

Michelle Hill: It is Trust is the foundation of of a successful business. And when we have that toxic environment, we lose people. We we lose really good employees. We you know, when you talk about those hours, right, add that by someone's salary, that is their two hours a day times five days a week and so on. You can do the math just in payroll, not to mention the loss of relationships, people covering their you know what's because they're sending these emails. Right. So that way they did their job. But they could have just went and had a simple conversation. Or even when people they don't include people, so then they're not making the best decisions because they've left people out that have information they should be because they don't trust that person. Right. Right. I mean, there's so much that's happening. But yeah, when I was driving, I'm like, there's not one company I can think of that we are not talking about trust and revisiting it, right?

Andrea Frederickson: And they don't even have to be completely toxic. It's simply just this underlying you didn't do what you said you were going to do or you didn't close the loop or you said this and this is what you did. There's something missing in there. And so then we create all kinds of habits where the loss of productivity is astounding. I was just in a workshop yesterday and how a lack of productivity was costing so much just from keeping emails as like having to keep the data in our email box so that we can refer to that. I told you I sent this kind of conversation. Yes, right. Yeah.

Michelle Hill: Well, and so, you know, just kind of thinking about it for our audience, you know, going into what's the cost? What why is it so important from our perspective and as we're working with clients, why is it so important that organizations ensure that they are focusing on developing trust versus just sale happen, whatever.

Andrea Frederickson: Kind of thing? Well, I think that, you know, let's go back to the data where we just said the number of hours per day an employee uses in dealing with some kind of mis misinformation, lack of information, not following through information. You said this, you said that. And then let's talk about the gossip and the drama that comes along with that. Right. And so what you've done is you've created a culture, and let's face it, with the number of employees that are that we're looking for, right. The talent that we're we're searching for retaining employees is a top initiative for all companies. And so if the reputation of your company is that, nah, it's okay, they don't always do what they say they're going to do or they don't keep us in the loop or one department doesn't do this. We're fine in this department. But those departments over there, they don't get wrong.

Michelle Hill: Like the.

Andrea Frederickson: Silos. Your your your consequence is the reputation of your company. Right? We've got a lack of productivity. So we end up adding more people, which we don't have to. So we throw more people into problems because people don't have time, because they're dealing with some kind of drama, Right. And some kind of lack of trust. But the other is when you get a reputation not only from your employees, but your company gets a reputation. If customers can't trust that you're going to deliver on what you said you're going to deliver or that you don't follow through or you don't keep them in the loop. So, I mean, there are tangible and intangible consequences of having a lack of trust in the culture of your company.

Michelle Hill: Yes, Well, and I know you brought up in the intro that our three point model so often we that's one of the one of the things that we're talking about. So tell tell our audience about that.

Andrea Frederickson: Yeah. The three point model we've talked about for years there is the compassion, there is the capability and then the consistent behavior. So let's go through each of those. So compassion is does the other person understand your situation or the circumstances that you're under or your plight? Do they have the ability to kind of put themselves in your shoes and go, Oh, she probably needs this for this reason, or or she may have gotten distracted and forgot to follow through on something or it's probably sitting in her email box. Maybe she's waiting for something instead of saying, I sent that email and this doesn't happen, right? And then just starting this drama and then I don't just keep it to myself and I share when I think somebody doesn't do something right. I have to bob my head some some way right here. It's like, Oh, here's what's going on. But but the compassion part is just putting yourself in the other person's shoes and recognizing they have. Good intentions. They are trying to do their best. They may have forgotten something or they haven't gotten back to you on something, but without compassion. And there's a there's a lack of confidence that the person's going to to do what they say they're going to do. Right. Yes. Capability is does the person fulfill the role that you're viewing them in? So if I view you as a coworker and that's the role you're in, I'm going to see can this person even do their job if they're in the role of manager leader? Do I think they're capable of doing that role? Are they a parent? And do I think whatever the the role is that we're viewing them in? Do we believe that they have the capability to fulfill that role based upon our expectations? Yes.

Michelle Hill: And that one, I think, is gets a little tricky because when we hire someone, we are. We still have to develop them and provide them with the guidance to be able to do a good job. But we judge them through that lens. And if we're not careful, then we don't trust them because they make a mistake. And then that ripple effect of people not feeling safe and everything else that's going to the drama that follows that as well.

Andrea Frederickson: Right now, one of my favorite quotes you just caused me to think about it was we view ourselves through our intentions, but we view others through their actions. And so we wonder why there's miscommunication. And so if we have not only do we have compassion for the other person that recognize they have their own thoughts and views and things like that, but also that we have to recognize that whatever their role is, they're a work in progress. And if we're not clear about what the expectations we have of them in that role, like, I need you to do this as my leader. I need you to close the loop. I need you to follow up with me. I need you to I need us to check in on things. If you can't do that, this isn't going to work. Because that's what I need, right? And so capability is the second of our three point model. The third is that the integrity or the consistent behavior, do they follow through and do what they say they're going to do? Do I know who's going to show up when I talk to them? You know, we talk about if I walk in and it's like, do I have Jekyll or I have Hyde. You know, it's like, are you predictable? And we don't know who is going to show up. But also, can I trust that when I give you an assignment that you are going to deliver on what you said you were going to do? So if you're supposed to do something on every third Thursday of the month, do you make sure you get taken care of on the third Thursday, or do I have to check in on you? Or if you say you're going to be back in in 30 minutes and we're going to do something, it's like, oh, is it 30 minutes or is it 35 minutes or is it 40 minutes? And what does that really mean? And so just really having an expectation of of the the consistent behavior is what we're looking for. So compassion, consistent behavior. Capability. Yes.

Michelle Hill: So what happens So using that as those three those three components when when trust exist, those we experience, we feel those three components. Right. But what happens when one is missing?

Andrea Frederickson: Well, so. In reality, nobody has complete trust or incomplete trust without taking those three parts. So I might have I believe you're capable of doing this job, and I believe you have the best of intentions of helping me. But I don't know that you're not consistent in. Where are you going to be at the meeting? You're not going to be at the meeting. Are you going to deliver a response to me within 24 hours, or is it 48 sometimes and 12 sometimes and immediately? Sometimes. I just don't know what when to expect something. And so it's not that I have lost complete trust, but I've lost confidence in your consistent behavior. And so.

Michelle Hill: Inconsistent behavior. Inconsistent.

Andrea Frederickson: I've lost confidence in hoping you you will have inconsistent behavior. So I've lost confidence in you. So I question people when they say, well, I've lost trust in somebody because that means you've lost all three. And so you can. But it's easy to say because trust is made up of all three of those. I might have to say, Well, Michelle, I've lost confidence. It's like I'm confident that you're trying to do the right thing. I'm confident that you understand my situation. But what I'm not confident in is this. So it's not even that we're using trust because trust is really an emotional word, right? Yes, it's an emotional word. And so as true as it might be, I simply may choose to say I've lost confidence in this, but I believe we can get it back. Yes. Yes.

Michelle Hill: And I think it's a really good tool to when you have that conversation and it's exactly what people do is they tie that emotion to trust. Right. And it's like, okay, let's break it out here. Let's break it out. These three. Right. And what's missing? You know, using it as that type of tool. So then it helps them then narrow that in. Right. And it's not just this big thing. You sometimes you can identify, really. It's kind of a small thing. And what type of conversation can we have to to build that trust, Right?

Andrea Frederickson: So using the model helps us determine what is it that we have lost confidence in so that we can have conversations as opposed to I've lost I don't trust them. It's like it's like somebody saying, well, you don't know how to communicate. Like, obviously you do know how to communicate. You can talk, you can make facial expressions, you can deep sigh, you're communicating in some way. So what is it about communication? This is its cousin, right? In what we're doing well.

Michelle Hill: And you know, kind of thinking about some scenarios what happens when because I know you and I both bump into this often, you'll hear a leader of some sort, whether it's a lead supervisor or manager, whatever that title is, right? In an organization, they get a new employee and they view that new employee through that lens that they don't trust their capability to do the job. So that person has to earn their trust. What's happening when that person believes that person has to earn their trust? What's what's what are some of those things that that new employee, let's say, is going to experience?

Andrea Frederickson: Well, there's there's a lot of science, lots of articles about. So are you the person who has to earn trust or are you given trust right away? Well, let's think about that. You hired them for a reason. Exactly. You hired them because you believe they can fulfill the role. And so do they have the technical knowledge and you you have confidence in that. So that's a capability, right? Do you believe that they are empathetic and that they are compassionate and that they are good team workers? That's the compassion side of things, right? Or do you. Are you? Have you interviewed them and found out how consistent they are? Have you done research on their references and things like that? You've done all this research behind the scenes or before you even hiring, right? Who's ever hiring and a hiring manager as the leader? That's your responsibility to check, I believe and I trust that this person is going to do that. So in that vein, there's a sliding scale. Yes. Okay. So my belief is that there are things that are going to demonstrate that they they have good trust and they're continuing to build trust. And then there's going to be something that is going to take away. But there still needs to be responsibility that says, have I lost there? Have I lost confidence here or do I need to just go check in and have a conversation? So in previous episodes, we've had conversations about peer to peer accountability. Yes, but it doesn't make any difference. I don't leader to employee, coworker to coworker. Accountability is the first step is go find out. So let's go find out if this something is not meeting my expectation of capability, compassion or consistency. I need to go find out what's up because I might be the one that's misunderstanding because their expectations are different than my expectations. Yes. So let's let's manage the scale of lack of confidence, lack of trust to confidence and trust in that person in any of the three different categories.

Michelle Hill: Categories. Well, and also thinking about when we don't trust someone through either any of those lenses, right. We may how we behave, we may disregard not even ask for their opinion, not include them. We may appear standoffish so that person doesn't, as a new employee, doesn't feel welcome, doesn't feel like they're part of the team, and it can just simply be through that. If you're noticing turnover at the very beginning of that cycle of new employees, it's like, okay, well what's causing the people to leave? Because we know when people feel that you believe in them, when people feel that they have capabilities for that, the growth, the capabilities for that, and when they feel like they belong, they tend to want to stay. So what's happening?

Andrea Frederickson: Well, and just look at if if there's 1 or 2 things that don't meet our expectations now, we're continuing to tell more stories about ourselves. And what we're looking for is evidence to support the story we've told ourselves. So if if a coworker has not demonstrated something that you were expecting and they've done it twice now, all I'm looking for is that evidence to justify and I'm going to go tell my friends. And so because I now I've come to the belief that I don't trust that person or I can't I don't I'm not confident in their behavior. Now, I am going to I'm going to act differently. I'm not going to send them the email when they need to, or I'm going to fill their email boxes with 27 reminders, which, of course, everybody loves. Micromanage, right? Yes. Or I'm going to ask questions in places where I've never asked questions before, as instead of let's get clear about what those expectations are. Yes, we cause turnover because we don't get clear about what the expectations are about, what the person's role is, how they're going to treat each other and how consistent they are about the behaviors that they demonstrate with one another. And without that clarity, we're setting up our relationships to fail. And these are things that apply not only at work. They apply human to human. Yes. Okay. And so when we're not doing those things, we're just giving the person who's feeling the brunt of this more ammunition of reasons not to stay. Yes. Or to start looking someplace else.

Michelle Hill: Well, and then also the people observing. Right. You have other people watching, watching what's happening, watching how you're interacting, watching, you know, they're well, better not do that because if that happens, if I do that, I'm going to be micromanaged. We're modeling and telling people that it's okay to behave this way. So kind of to pull this back together really fast. The three point model, what what would you say the first step for our audience if if they were to take that three point model and work with their leadership team, what's the first thing they should do?

Andrea Frederickson: First and foremost is think of the scenarios in which they feel like they're struggling with somebody, especially around that, that their own team. Just who are they struggling with and which of the three could be one? It could be two or all three that is missing. And then challenge yourself to think, okay, if they were looking back at you, what do you think they're missing? Right. So if I think making this up. Michelle, great. So if I think for some reason you don't understand my plight in my world, right, there's some reason where it's like, you don't understand all the things that I'm doing and all the hassles I have to deal with, right? And so I'm thinking you're missing compassion for me. What if I said, okay, what does Michelle think? Does she she probably thinks something similar. She's going to feel it. And so there's two sides to this. So recognizing this is not a one sided event, this is two sided. So that's the first step. Second thing, though, that I would do is say, go have a conversation with the person to find out. Here's what I was thinking we were going to get or here's the feeling that I have when this happens, am I misunderstanding? Am I missing something? Help me understand. Have that conversation. Because in most cases, somebody will say, Oh, I was doing this because I thought this was helpful, right? Or I didn't realize that was the impact you had I was having on you.

Andrea Frederickson: Correct. Or I didn't realize that this inconsistency was even being noticed by anybody, correct? Right. And so that is the first. And so just recognizing when you get that spider sense like, oh, I don't trust this person or I can't I've lost confidence in them in some way, do those two things and be able to coach that with those that you lead to teach them to have that same conversation. Okay. So today we talked a little bit about the cost, you know, from the hours per day that employees are dealing with some kind of waste of money and time because their lack of trust and their lack of confidence between people and most of those things are dealt with because they haven't had a conversation. So if you employ the three point model, the compassion, the capability and the consistent behavior, use that tool to help decipher and to help peel back the idea of where is it that's quite not quite working well so that they can have so each of you can have a conversation with the person that maybe things aren't going well. Thanks for joining us on this episode of The Leadership Hustle, and don't forget to subscribe so you never miss another episode.