The Myth of the Perfect Leader

This is a written Transcription for the Leadership Hustle episode about The Myth of the Perfect Leader, from Season 1 Episode 28.

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Andrea: If you're listening to this, you probably have an opinion about what it takes to be the best leader. In this episode at the Leadership Puzzle, we're going to challenge what you think about what it takes to be a great leader. Hello and welcome to the leadership puzzle for executives whose companies are growing fast and need leaders who are ready for leadership development coaching. The question that gets asked all the time is, So what are the qualities that make the best leaders? Like what's. It's almost like, what's the perfect leader? Michelle, How do you answer that question?

Michelle: I don't. I answer the question. Well, I ask the question. I do ask the question. But I ask it because what you think might be a great leader is going to be different than one that someone else thinks is a great leader. I also ask the question because it can be very situational. But again, it's about the person who's following, who believes that person is a great leader. So what are the things that are important to you, right, in a person that you're choosing to be a part of their organization and to you choose to follow what's important?

Andrea: You know, I think that when people ask that question, they're confusing a couple of things. The one they're saying in a position of leadership, what makes the best leader? When the question is, if you are a great leader, what are those qualities? Right. So I'm always assuming that a position that a person who is a leader is in a position of leadership. That being said, I do similar I do something similar where you just ask the questions like, So does the answer ever show up? The answer really is if you ask 800 people what are the qualities of a great leader, you're going to get 800 different answers. Yes, there will be some overlap, overlap and things like that. So that people like, well, then what am I doing this leadership class now?

Michelle: It has got to be one of the highest ranked on Google like the question asked. And because there's so much out there on Google, whether it's videos, whether it's articles, blog, I mean, you name the media that one is covered everywhere, right?

Andrea: And there are more and more leadership specialists coming out of the woodwork every minute of the day. So so the so the question that we that we want to bring up is, you know, is there a perfect leadership, you know, set of skills? And if the answer is no, there is not, but the answer is yes for each individual. Like who? Who what are those qualities that make my favorite leader of my favorite leader? Because they have all these great qualities. And if the person next to them had eight of the ten, they'd be okay. But you know, they may not have the same set of qualities that this other person had.

Michelle: Well, and I also like to ask the question is like, what do you mean known? How do you want to be known? Right. Because if you think about great leaders, people, whether you knew them or didn't know them. Right. Because again, as a leader, you don't have to even know them. Right. What are the things that people have done that you've really what is it that they do that cause you to believe in them? Because if you believe in them, you listen to them, right? If I don't believe in you, I'm not listening to you. Right. So what are the things that are.

Andrea: That's a whole ‘nother episode.

Michelle: So what are the things that are really important to you when you think about. So that's it's an activity we often do. Getting them thinking about to them what's really important and then what are the things that they have identified that's really important and how do they feel they do right. Let let's in where where are the you know, where are the areas that they feel pretty strong in? And let's prove it. You know, let's get some proof on that. And then what are the the the different qualities that they probably need to get a little better at, which is where we use the personality assessment. Sometimes two comes in handy, right, because of a blind spot. And we don't always recognize our actions and then the impact. But those areas that we can get better at, and that's really, you know, so each person I'm working with sometimes is going to have, again, a lot of crossover, but there's going to be little nuances that are going to be just specific to them that is important for them to build and grow and develop as they want to develop their leadership presence.

Andrea: So in effort to to bring this into something tangible and helpful, Michelle:  and I, we were doing our own research and thinking about the qualities that people mentioned to us most about. You know, it's not here's the top ten list. This is somewhere in their top ten people are bringing up these few qualities. So it becomes part of the framework that seemed to be pretty close to Universal. I won't say universal, right, But but there but there are high up there. And so we've we've come up with a few. And so the first one that I want to mention is humility, the humility to recognize that they're not they don't have all the answers, the humility to recognize they make mistakes and to show the transparency of their humanness and what's going on. And do what they're doing in a servant way, as opposed to supporting their ego and supporting the power and authority that they that they hold in their position. So that was that was a big one. So.

Michelle: Well, and that gets that really hinges on the you're relatable right? And when you're relatable now, you're you're more of a human, not an object. And people will view you differently. Right. So, I mean, that really helps close the gap on on that piece of it.

Andrea: Right? Okay. So give us another one.

Michelle:Well, we've talked a lot about this one in previous episodes, but IQ, emotional intelligence, and, you know, just simply keeping it short and sweet, just the ability to recognize our emotions and how we behave and, you know, being able to adjust depending on the impact for wanting to have. Right. But also being able to recognize and pick up on other people's emotions and really show that that you care. So the awareness, which when you think about that, that hits a lot of little things such as that listening, you know, how we're communicating our tone. I mean, there's so many things that it ripples out from when you get into that one.

Andrea:

Well, you know, in in a nutshell, yes, it is emotional intelligence, but it's understanding the impact we're having on someone else and recognizing what we're doing that's causing that, but also recognizing the person's reaction. So just it's not just behavior, it's understanding its impact.

Michelle: Definitely. Definitely.

Andrea: So I have a third one and the third one that we have in our in our top list is doing what you say you're going to do. And that sounds so elementary. And yet the number of leaders that find that as they move up a new organization that will excuse themselves for not following through or doing what they say they're going to do or, you know, rationalizing away.

Michelle: Doing things a little different, following this policy.

Andrea: Being a maverick, as we call it, and and so, you know, doing what we say we're going to do is is as much keeping people informed, making sure that you follow your promises, the integrity and the transparency. You know, those are the kinds of things that, you know, you can say these are all characteristics, like you could list all those as separate things like, but it falls into this bucket of do what you say you're going to do. And the fact that you need to keep people abreast of if something's taking a long time, let people know it's taking a long time, that's fine. Otherwise, it looks like you didn't follow through with what you say you're going to do. And so those are the top three. And we know that we that people and humans think in threes and remember in threes. But we're going to we're going to break that rule because we have number four. So number four of our top list is intellectual curiosity. Intellectual curiosity. What what is that? That sounds so.

Michelle: Well, I mean, there's a lot of words you can throw around growth mindset. It's always learning. It's always no matter what it is, it's learning about yourself, learning about leadership, learning about science within, or learning about your industry, learning about trends. I mean, it's always learning, right? And when we demonstrate as a leader in organization, we demonstrate that we're a learn that we're not always right, that we that we always have opportunities for growth to get better, to understand things and in a different perspective than we did. You know, when we made decisions five years ago, we made those decisions based off what we knew then, right? But if I'm learning now, if I had to make that same decision again, it may be different because I've been learning to get that right, right as I've as I've grown to those five years. But as we demonstrate learning, that then allows people to recognize, it's important for me to learn to write so it can become contagious and it can become something that is is is viewed as a positive thing within this organization.

Andrea: Well, and if you take the applying learning, what we've done is we probably changed. And so you're adding that demonstration of things aren't always as they seem and or always right based on our patterns or habits and things like that. So, you know, just recognizing that that curiosity and being more inquisitive as opposed to, you know, just telling people how things need to be is something that many people, although they may want to know what the answer is, it's sometimes better for them to be led so that they can figure out what the answer is, so that they can own that.

Michelle: Yes. Well, and flipping that curiosity to it's not just outside resources, it's learning for your people. Whereas for people of all ages.

Andrea: Because everybody evolves.

Michelle: Yes. Well, and you have, you know, let let's just say you've been within the organization for 20 years. You've been there for a long time. Right. And now you've got newbies, people that are coming in that are brand new, whether the brand new to your company or and maybe they've been in your industry for years or brand new to your company or they're brand new to the work world, right? Well, wherever they get to those extremes, they have information that we don't have and we can learn from them. But we have to be willing to ask the questions. Listen with that open mind. Right. And demonstrate that we can learn from everyone. Right. Right.

Andrea: So so our top three, humility, emotional intelligence, do what you say you're going to do. And the bonus, intellectual curiosity, those are the ones that we believe. And if you have one that you would like in your top level, top group, drop a comment and let us know what you think is something that should be added to our list. If you're looking for more resources related to the development of leaders, check us out at Rebello Group dot com and don't forget to subscribe so you never miss another episode.